The Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol

Available March 27th on DVD from BREAKING GLASS PICTURES

Breaking Glass Pictures has announced the March 27 release of the surreal, horror-comedy “The Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol” (SRP $24.99). Director Aramis Sartorio takes viewers on a demented roller-coaster ride through the mind of a down-and-out actor forced to the edge where sanity and fantasy collide, where he must ask himself, "At what point do you give up on your dreams?”

 

'The Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol' follows the disappointing life of struggling actor Tommy Pistol, who has turned his back on family and friends to pursue his dream of stardom. When he finally hits rock bottom, Tommy seeks solace in a penis pump and finds himself in a fantasy world where he pursues bloody vengeance against those who've put him down. What he doesn't realize is that his whole life has been leading up to the moment when he awakes to find that he's run out of second chances, and despite his regret, there is no going back.

 

 

10KBullets applauded its “willingness to go where very few horror films have gone before.” “Gruesome Death” has captivated viewers and made top horror films lists for 2011 as well as being named Best of the 2011 Pollygrind Film Festival.

 

The DVD release will come crammed with Special Features including director’s commentary, interviews with cast and crew, behind-the-scenes footage, a featurette of the first sketch comedy troupe from Queens, the “DJ Tommy Pistol” music video and “It Ate His Face” music video trailer, and a special featurette showcasing director Aramis Sartorio’s heavy metal band “Amorea”!

 

'Click here to check out our interview with Tommy Pistol himself, director Aramis Sartorio.'

Don't Open Till Christmas

on DVD from Mondo Macabro

Mondo Macabro, one of the most versatile independent video labels on the planet, has just signed an exclusive agreement with Danger After Dark for distribution. The first release of the new partnership will be UK slasher, Don't Open Till Christmas, fully uncut and featuring over an hour of bonus material, coming December 6th. I can't help but think that this is good news, Mondo Macabro has been fairly quiet this year, but the few titles they've released most recently have been fantastic, and hopefully this will usher in a new, more productive, era for Pete Tombs' and Andy Starke's amazing company.

DANGER AFTER DARK to DISTRIBUTE
MONDO MACABRO LIBRARY IN NORTH AMERICA

The holiday fun begins with ultimate festive DVD release:
1984's UK-slasher horror "DON'T OPEN TILL CHRISTMAS"
re-mastered and completely uncut!

(New York; October 27, 2011) DANGER AFTER DARK is proud to announce that it will be the exclusive North American distributor for UK-based MONDO MACABRO, the film label dedicated to "the wild side of world cinema." To celebrate this momentous partnership, MONDO MACABRO presents the holiday release of "DON'T OPEN TILL CHRISTMAS," the classic British slasher that was heavily cut at the time of its release - now re-mastered in HD and uncut for the first time ever with over 70 minutes of extras! The "ho-ho-ho horror" slays your DVD collection when it streets December 6, 2011 with a S.R.P. of $24.99. Check out the trailer here: http://vimeo.com/31094985

"DANGER AFTER DARK is excited to bring one of the premiere, specialty film labels into our distribution family, " says Derek Curk, President of Danger After Dark . "MONDO MACABRO's fearless dedication to finding, preserving and unleashing unconventional, provocative movies fits DANGER AFTER DARK's drive to provide an outlet for MONDO, to get their films to their very loyal fan-base."

"MONDO MACABRO and DANGER AFTER DARK have had a relationship for years and it's a great pleasure for us to cement that with a distribution deal, " says Andy Starke, President of UK-based MONDO MACABRO. " It's fantastic to have found a home at a company that is not only knowledgeable about cult, underground and alternative cinema - but are fans too"

Their first title sounds like a good one, too, and a bit of a switch from the mondo cinema they're accustomed to releasing. It's always nice to watch them branch out. Mondo Macabro is among the very best curated collections in the home video world. Here are some details on Don't Open Till Christmas.

"DON'T OPEN TILL CHRISTMAS," directed by and starring Edmund Purdom, celebrates Christmas time in London - a season of good will to all men and full of joyous celebrations, quality family time and luxurious presents. This year, it's also time for a masked maniac to be let loose on the streets. His intended victims are chosen at random but they all have one thing in common: they are dressed in the flowing white beard and bright red robes of Santa Claus! With fourteen Santa Clauses already dead and only three killing days left until Christmas, the police are baffled as the horrific death toll continues to rise. From the producers of "Pieces" and "Slaughter High," this rarely-seen flick features very graphic and disturbing violence - including castration, mutilation - and some phenomenal nudity, courtesy of Pat Astley (Mr. Grace's nurse from "Are You Being Served?"). Suffice it to say, your holidays will never be the same again!

An Interview with Aramis Sartorio

The man responsible for 'The Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol'.

After his debut film, 'The Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol', had me rolling outta my chair at the PollyGrind Film Festival, I got to shoot the shit with a guy that the horror world will definitely be hearing from in the near future ...Aramis Sartorio.

Jeff: Comedy definitely seems to be your forte. How long have you been at it?

Aramis: I did sketch comedy with four friends in high school. We were called 'Cheese Theater Productions' and I did it for 11 years. Everything I know I learned from doing that.

Jeff: The film is definitely more of a comedy than a horror film. Was the horror element always going to be a part of the film or was it added later on?

Aramis: I wanted to mix all the elements into it. Comedy, horror and drama. Comedy comes naturally first, but for sure it was going to be a horror movie.

Jeff: What kind of stuff did you grow up watching? Comedy? Horror?

Aramis: Both, I always needed them both to even me out. I'd watch something scary then pop in something funny right afterwards. That was my routine.

Jeff: You produced, directed, as well as starred in 'Tommy Pistol', what do you think is the most difficult of the 3?

Aramis: Producing was the most stressful. Trying to find the money to make it all happen was definitely the hardest.

Jeff: Which of the 3 do you enjoy the most?

Aramis: I know at the PollyGrind FF Q/A someone asked me that and I said writing. I thought about it more and now for sure I'd have to say acting. When I'm on point, it gives me such a high and such confidence. I feel unstoppable. I love acting. The others I feel I'm still growing into and learning more and more everyday.

Jeff: What was the most difficult part of getting this film made?

Aramis: WAITING!!! It was done on such a low budget. A lot of favors made it all happen. So when you're making a movie like that you just have to take what you get and just know you're going to finish it. I never would have accomplished it without my amazing, supportive, loving wife and the amazing crew. I knew no matter what I was going to finish it, but I couldn't predict when.

Jeff: You recently starred in Caleb Emerson's 'Frankie in Blunderland'. How did that project come about?

Aramis: I've spent a lot of time with Caleb because he edited 'Gruesome Death' for me. Marta Estirado was a huge fan of Caleb's cult movie 'Die You Zombie Bastards'. She wrote the script and asked Caleb if he would just read it and give feedback. Caleb did, he loved it and asked if he could make it. She said yes. So when Caleb was asking friends and casting for it, he asked me if I would be interested in playing Frankie. I said yes before he finished the sentence. The script found it's cast. Who ever read the script and didn't understand it, they passed on it. Their loss.

Jeff: There are some scenes in 'Tommy Pistol' that, for a lack of a better phrase, are pretty fucked up. Was there ever a moment during filming where you thought, "wait, this scene might hurt my chances of getting the film shown or more importantly getting a distribution deal"?

Aramis: Never, I went into this with one mind frame. If it's too much for you, then fuck off. At the time I was watching a lot of foreign horror films and I thought, why the hell are they getting away with the most fucked up kills I've ever seen and our US films suck. Lame and boring. I wanted to do something different, and just let it go. I think for my first film, if I was to hold back I would have been disappointed with myself. Also, whenever I told my wife Karen "Hey, what you think of this." If she said no that's too much, I kept it and made it worse.

Jeff: Anyone that has seen your film will agree that John Karyus' performance as 'Skanky' is truly incredible and wrong ...really, really wrong. Is there anything the guy won't do?

Aramis: God! I hope not, because I'm going to test him for sure in my spin-off movie called 'Skanky'. Writing that now.

Jeff: What's next for 'The Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol'?

Aramis: No release date yet. Talking with a distribution company. Just looking for the best deal that won't bury it in a shitty library of movies and never come out. I need to spread it like wild fire. My goal is to be a CULT hit!

Jeff: What's next for Aramis Sartorio?

Aramis: Focus, focus and more focus. As much as I can. I'm hungry to do it all! Writing 'Skanky' and a few acting gigs for now. One thing at a time.

Jeff: Thanks again for taking the time to talk to us and I hope to hear from you soon for future projects.

Aramis: For sure I'll keep you posted and thank you.

My Pure Joy (2011)

Synopsis: The story follows a teenager named Adam. Introduced to horror films at a young age by his father, he had soon become obsessed with them. After his father's death, Adam takes his obsession to the next level by acting out the bloodiest scenes from his favorite slasher films on unsuspecting victims. When his life starts to fall apart, he decides to fix things by choosing his victims a little closer to home.

My Thoughts: Let me start by saying that the director (James Cullen Bressack) definitely shows some balls here, especially for it being his first feature film. This movie hits you with more gore, language and nudity than you'll get from 90% of the horror flicks being released nowadays. Plus, it also has a great WTF moment that forced me to rewind just to make sure that I saw what I thought I saw.

Some of the inexperienced actors weren't very good, although Alexei Ryan's performance as the psychotic teen, Adam, really stood out. The gore effects were decent enough in some scenes, but not so much in others. I thought the homage to the original 'Psycho' shower scene was really well done. However, the scene when Adam chops off the rapper's fingers ...well, not so good.

This movie could've been a lot better if it wasn't for the editing (or lack of editing). I understand that one of the hardest things for a director to do is cut out scenes that might have taken hours to shoot, especially for a younger director. Unfortunately, most of the time that's what it takes to improve the flow of a film. Cutting some of the longer dialog scenes and the repeated flashbacks would have really helped this movie.

My Rating: 4.5 / 10




This is a horror movie made by a hardcore horror fan for hardcore horror fans. The genre needs new young directors like James Cullen Bressack. Youth and inexperience isn't always a bad thing. It does lead to a lot of mistakes, but it also gives a director no fear of failure and that can lead to great things. This guy definitely seems to be on the right path and if he keeps his edge there's a great slasher flick in his future.

Psykik Junky Pictures

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Rich's Reviews ~ Simon Says (2006)

"Time To Have Some Fun"

Simon Says is about twin brothers, one has psychotic tendencies and severely injures his brother when they are young children. The story takes place years later when the brothers are grown. Teens looking for a campground run into the twins, played by Crispin Glover, and soon get knocked off one by one. The teen characters consist of the jock, the stoner, the virgin, the slut and the smart chick.

Even though the characters all have been seen before, as well as the story, this movie works fairly well. The acting is above average. Crispin Glover was born to play this kind of role (of the odd twins). The gore is exceptional and the murders are creative. For example,  the virgin girl gets it with a portable CD player shoved down her throat and the stoner is forced to smoke a giant joint.

Simon Says gets a 7 1/2 out of 10. It's good fun!

Frat House Massacre (2008)

"Rush Week just became Death Week!"

Synopsis: This twisted horror flick, by Alex Pucci (director of 2005's 'Camp Slaughter'), follows the lives of Sean (Chris Prangley) and his little brother, Bobby (Rane Jameson). Bobby just graduated from high school and was all set for college where he was to pledge his big bro's fraternity, Delta Iota Epsilon, when his van was struck by a drunk driver and he slipped into a coma. He remained comatose until the exact moment another tragedy struck back at the frat house, this time to his brother, Sean. After hearing of his brother's death, a fully recovered Bobby goes back to school and pledges his brother's old frat in order to find out the truth behind Sean's death and punish those responsible. Well, it doesn't take him long to put his plan into action by falsely befriending the guilty frat brothers, led by their psychotic president, Mark (Jon Fleming), who's into extremely demented hazing rituals and has no problem disposing of a few unwanted pledges (not to mention what he does to the co-eds).


My Thoughts: Going by the film's title and after watching the opening sequence, there was no doubt in my mind that this was gonna be a homage to the slasher films of the late 70's/early 80's. Well, it kinda is ...I guess? As the movie went on I got a sense that I was seeing something else, but I just couldn't put my finger on it. Then about 20 minutes in, it hit me. This is a 1970's exploitation movie! ...and not just an exploitation movie, but an exploitation-revenge movie (my favorite kind). This film comes as close to cloning the feel of a true exploitation film (without spoofing it) as I've ever seen. The two main reasons for it has to be the acting and dialog, which most of the time was dead on (for what I think the director was trying to accomplish).


I must admit, after the bloody scene at the beginning and the awesomely cheezy disco montage used during the opening titles, the film lags for a bit. After that, something just clicked and it completely grabbed my attention. I liked how the director changed directions during the film, so even though you knew who the killer was gonna be you had no idea what was coming next.


I thought this movie was really well cast and everyone fit their role, basically the assholes played great assholes. The gore was also well done. Of course, cheezy at times, but fitting with the aforementioned theme. I also have to give a thumbs up to the music. Getting Claudio Simonetti of the legendary band, Goblin ('Deep Red', 'Suspiria', 'Demons'), to score the film just adds the movie's effectiveness. One negative, while I liked the film's gratuitous nudity, I could have done with a lot less man ass ...like how 'bout none.

My Rating; 8 / 10










I know most people will think this is complete garbage, but this movie isn't meant for those people. So I say, for lover's of old school movies like 'Massacre at Central High', 'Savage Streets' and 'Last House on the Left' ...this one's for you! A definite must see.


This film, made back in 2008, finally gets released on August 9th by Synapse films, but for those who can't wait you can pick up the director's cut dvd today from TLA releasing.


TLACult.com

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Be Kind, Rewind: The VHS Reviews ~ Berserker (1987)

a.k.a. Berserker: The Nordic Curse
"A Campfire Legend of Flesh-Eating Terror!"

Synopsis: According to an old Nordic legend, a Berserker was a bloodthirsty warrior who would feast on human flesh, forbidden a restful death and fated to be reincarnated in their blood kin. Six college students accidentally stumble across the Berserker legend while vacationing at a Rainbow Valley campground, an area settled by Norwegian immigrants. The camp is filled with rumors of a wild bear killing people in the area, including speculation about an old couple who recently got lost in the woods. Is it really a bear ...or is it something much worse?

My Thoughts: Wikipedia claims Berserkers are legendary Norwegian warriors who fought in a nearly uncontrollable trance-like fury. Most historians believe that they would work themselves into a rage before battle, but some think that they might have consumed drugged foods. The Berserkers were known for wearing coats made from the pelts of a bear during battle ...and in this movie, they also wore masks made from the bear's skull and used the teeth to rip open their victims.

Okay, so we have Berserkers, bears, vikings and bunch of annoying campers that are lost in the woods. Sounds like the makings of a great 80's slasher movie, right? Unfortunately, even a really badass premise can't make up for the awful execution of an inexperienced horror director (Jef Richard). The biggest problem I had was the film's pacing. It seemed like every scene would drag on about 10-15 seconds too long. I don't know if the goal was to reach 90 mins or what, but if they cleaned it up a little during editing and lost about 10 mins of useless footage it would really help.

The acting got really bad at times (even for a slasher flick) aside from horror movie vets, George 'Buck' Flower & John Goff who both brought their A-game. The gore was pretty cheesy and there weren't any memorable kills, just a bunch of bloody claw marks. We did get some boob shots, but nothing to write home about. Overall, it was watchable, I guess. It just didn't live up to it's potential. I still thinks it's a cool idea and could definitely use a remake ...a really low budget blood-soaked remake.

My Rating: 5 / 10







Released by Prism Entertainment in 1990. It's a surprising good transfer and unlike most of the 80's 'in the woods' slashers, the night scenes are really well lit. This one will run you about 20 bucks for a used copy on amazon. Is it worth it? Probably not, unless you sick f*#kers got some kind of perverted viking fetish or somethin'.

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Be Kind, Rewind: The VHS Reviews ~ The Hook Of Woodland Heights (1988)

"Mason Crane....The Perfect Guest For Thanksgiving Dinner, Carving Is His Specialty."

Synopsis: We begin this late-80's slasher with a couple of teenagers, Tommy (Michael Elyanow) and Katie (Christine McNamara), who drive off into the woods to make out ...well, Tommy's there to make out. Now we cut to the Woodland Penitentiary, where a mental patient/serial killer named Mason Crane (Robert W. Allen) is in the process of being transfered from one cell to another. Mason murders the three guards and quickly high tails it to the nearby forest, coincidentally in the exact same direction of our two pre-occupied teens. He finds a BBQ fork, bends it into a hook and jams it into the stump where he's missing a hand and the rest you'll have to see for yourself....

Come on, it's only a half-hour long.

...and it's free on youtube.

"click here to watch it on youtube."

My Thoughts: I'm not sure if i'd say this falls into the 'so-bad-it's-good' category, but it definitely has it's share of WTF moments (like the 'clipboard kill'). The dialog and the acting are both pretty funny and the killer is fuckin' hilarious. It also includes some kick-ass 80's rock for all you over-the-hill metalheads out there. The short running time really saves it. If this was a full-length movie I doubt I could have even made it all the way through.

My Rating: 4 / 10




This was originally released on VHS in 1990 from Media House Productions with Michael Savino's other film, "Attack Of The Killer Refrigerator" (also on youtube). I noticed the creators of these forgotten horror-shorts are selling autographed copies on-line (now only available on dvd, of course) for the ridiculous price of $25. If you're up for a quick laugh, then check it out on youtube.

Be Kind, Rewind: The VHS Reviews ~ Blood Rage (1983)

a.k.a. Nightmare At Shadow Woods
"Identical Twins With Brutally Different Personalities"

Synopsis: The film opens with twin boys, Terry and Todd, sneaking out of the back of their mother's car while she's making out with her boyfriend at the drive-in. Terry grabs an axe from the car before he leaves. The boys then come across a teenage couple, who are also making out, in the backseat of another car. Suddenly Terry begins hacking away at the teenagers as Todd looks on hopelessly. Terry quickly hands Todd the weapon and smears blood on his face, before the crowd gathers, framing him for the murder. Ten years later, Todd escapes from the mental institution. The news of Todd's escape, in addition to his mother's engagement, triggers Terry to go on another killing spree. Will Todd again be blamed, or will he finally be able to prove his innocence?

My Thoughts: I doubt there are too many people that would have this on their list of all-time greatest slashers, but still this forgotten gore flick does have it's moments. What this 1983 low-budget slasher lacks in overall acting, it more than makes up for in blood & guts. Unfortunately, the kills are pretty much the only reason to search for a copy of this hard-to-find film (well that, and the synthesizer-driven score ...oh, and the 80's haircuts).

The horrible performances are lead by former sitcom actress Louise Lasser and virtual no-namer Mark Soper, who are totally unconvincing throughout the entire movie. I've never seen her 70's sitcom "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman", but Lasser was completely horrendous here in her role as Maddy, the twins drunk and obnoxious mother. Soper was equally as bad playing both twins (Terry and Todd), although at least he had a couple funny one-liners during his killing spree. The scary thing is the supporting cast was even worse ...much, much worse.

Luckily, in a movie like this one a few good machete kills can make up for just about anything. Not only does this film include a dismemberment and a decapitation, we also get to see a chick get completely cut in two. The director leaves the camera rolling and is never in a hurry to cut away from the gore. Of course, most of it is pretty cheesy, but at least you actually get to see it.

* Note: Look for a young Ted Raimi who is selling condoms in the drive-in bathroom in the film's opening minutes. *

My Rating: 5.5 / 10






Overall, I thought this was a pretty fun slasher. Was it cheesy? Oh, hell yeah ...but in a good way. If you want to see the unedited version (and you do), then stick with the VHS version from Prism Entertainment (a used copy usually goes for about $20). There's also an extremely hard to find restored DVD version out there from Legacy under the title "Nightmare At Shadow Woods", but it's edited and very expensive (so don't even bother with it).

"click here to see a fan made trailer"

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Be Kind, Rewind: The VHS Reviews ~ Popcorn (1991)

"Buy A Bag, Go Home In A Box."

Synopsis: Maggie (Jill Schoelen, "The Stepfather", "Cutting Class") has been having nightmares of a guru-looking man with a sacrificial knife chasing a little girl named Sarah. She doesn't seem that disturbed by the recurring nightmares as she thinks that they are unconscious inspiration for a possible film idea. She is one of the members of a fledgling film program at UC Oceanview taught by Professor Davis (Tony Roberts, "Amityville 3-D") who is eager to make a splash with the department so they won’t keep getting shafted in terms of budget, space, and resources. Class obsessive film nerd Toby (Tom Villard, "Parasite", "One Crazy Summer") comes up with the idea to have a horror film marathon featuring the triple feature MOSQUITO (in 3D), THE STENCH (in Arom-O-Rama) and THE ELECTRIFIED MAN (in Shock-O-Rama) with all of the original 1950's gimmicks included. With the help of film memorabilia collector Dr. Mnesyne (Ray Walston, "My Favorite Martian"), the group renovate the abandoned and soon to be demolished Dreamland Theater for the show. While setting up the gimmicks (a giant mosquito to fly above the audience, electrified audience seats, odors to be piped through the vents), the group find a reel of film marked “Do Not Open.” They run the reel and it is revealed to be an experimental film called “Possessor” featuring the imagery from Maggie’s dream and she faints. When she comes to, Professor Davis tells her that the film was made by a man named Lanyard Yates who had a film cult in the 70's where they took drugs and made avant-garde films. When his film was laughed off the stage, Yates responded with a follow-up called "Possessor", the final scene of which was the onstage murder of his family and torching of the theatre with the patrons locked in. Of course, his body was never found. When Maggie mentions Yates to her mother (Dee Wallace-Stone, "E.T.", "Cujo"), she tries to convince Maggie to drop out of the show and take a trip with her, but Maggie says that she can’t escape from something that’s in her mind. Later that night, her mother receives a mysterious phone call from someone claiming to be Yates who tells her to meet him at the theater. She goes and gets nabbed in the dark after the requisite voices, backlit silhouettes, and appearance of Yates on the theater screen. The next night at the show, Maggie thinks she sees Yates while taking tickets. As she searches the theatre for him with the help of her skeptical jock boyfriend Mark (Derek Rydall, "Phantom of the Mall: Eric's Revenge", "Night Visitor") and an equally skeptical Toby, someone starts bumping off the professor and students and taking on their identities (it is revealed that the killer has a secret hideout where he can make moulds of peoples faces).

My Thoughts: Sure this is a completely by-the-book slasher movie, but when everything's done the right way that could make for a really fun horror flick. Let's talk about everything they did right. The lead actress (or 'final girl') ...they chose the amazing Jill Schoelen, one of my all-time favorite scream queens. She gets a 10/10, no doubt. The setting ...a horror flick in an old movie theatre, what's better than that? Exactly, so 10/10. The 3 made-up 1950's movies (or 'stinkers') that they had playing at the theatre were hilarious, again 10/10. The music also worked perfectly, especially the reggae song they used during the theatre renovation montage. Well, at least a 9/10. Of course, the movie does have a few flaws. It's pretty cheesy at times and a lot of the acting isn't the greatest, but like I mentioned before when it's done right somehow it works ...and besides, it's a horror movie.

Oh, I almost forgot. The title ...Popcorn. It's perfect too. You're not gonna find a better example of a 'popcorn movie' than this one. This film definitely brings back good memories of seeing it on the big screen. Remember, this was made at a time when the slasher film was considered a dead genre, so for a movie as fun as Popcorn to come out and get a wide release at theatres was pretty rare.

My Rating: 8.5 / 10












This movie was actually released on DVD by Elite Entertainment in 2001, but is out-of-print and comes with a hefty $108 price tag on amazon.com ($44 for a used copy). Fortunately, there may be some hope for you Popcorn fans out there. Video Nasty productions is in the process of filming a documentary with some of the original cast members (click on the photo above). The plan is to include their documentary on Popcorn’s re-released DVD. Besides the movie and documentary, this “ultimate fan edition” DVD will come with a cast commentary, a collector’s booklet and a poster. It was set to be released on March 23, 2012. I think they might be having some money problems, but hopefully it works out. Go to popcorndoc.com for more info.

…For now, if the $44 DVD is too steep, you can always watch it on Netflix instant or pick up a used VHS copy for 5 bucks. Hey, it’s better than nothin’.

"click here to see the trailer"

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Be Kind, Rewind: The VHS Reviews ~ Appointment With Fear (1985)

a.k.a. Deadly Presence
"Trapped in a world where death is not the end!"

Synopsis:  Our Story follows hard-nosed Detective Kowalski (Douglas Rowe, "Babysitter Wanted") as he investigates a series of brutal murders only to have his investigation lead him to an asylum inmate who is supposedly in a coma in a heavily-guarded monastary. Meanwhile, the inmate's dying wife hands over her baby to an unsuspecting teenager asking her to protect it from her husband. The inmate's döppelganger, who emerges from his cometose body, tracks down the teenager and her friends during a party at a house that's in the middle of nowhere ...of course

My Thoughts: Moustapha Akkad past away in 2005. He will be forever remembered as the executive producer for the original 8 films of the legendary "Halloween" franchise. In 1985, Akkad produced his only other horror film, a second rate slasher called "Appointment With Fear". While "Halloween" went on to become one of the most successful horror films of all-time (both financially and critically), "Appointment With Fear" can be considered the complete opposite.

Apparently, Akkad wasn't happy with what director Ramzi Thomas gave him, so he decided to have additional scenes shot and have the film re-edited. This led to Thomas having his directing credit removed from the film by the Directors Guild of America and replaced with the pseudonym "Alan Smithee". All of this makes sense after seeing this film. At times the story seems disjointed, which (as my Mom would say) is most likely caused by the film having too many chiefs and not enough indians.

The acting wasn't too bad, but the writing is so ridiculous that even Daniel Day-Lewis couldn't have pulled this off. Most of the characters seem to be half-retarded, e.g., one of the girls has a bum that lives (and sleeps) in the back of her pick-up. It's never explained??? That might be okay in a comedy, but this is far from that. Don't even get me started on the asinine dialog.

If there's anything positive I can say about this movie is that it has a pretty decent score, which is the only thing that brought any suspense to this forgettable film. I'd be interested to know how much they spent on this disaster. With all the production problems, I bet it's more than you might think. There's a good chance this is the reason Akkad went back to his bread & butter (the "Halloween" movies) and never tried any other horror films. After watching this, that could be a good thing.

My Rating: 3 / 10





As you might expect, this one never made it to DVD. You can pick up a VHS copy on Amazon for a few bucks, but I'd advise even hard-core 80's horror fans to skip this one.

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Scream 4 (2011)

"New Decade. New Rules."

Synopsis: Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell), now the author of a self-help book, returns home to Woodsboro on the last stop of her book tour. There she reconnects with Sheriff Dewey (David Arquette) and Gale (Courteney Cox), who are now married, as well as her cousin Jill (Emma Roberts) and her Aunt Kate (Mary McDonnell). Unfortunately, Sidney's appearance also brings about the return of Ghostface, putting Sidney, Gale, and Dewey, along with Jill, her friends, and the whole town of Woodsboro in danger.

My Thoughts:  After my wife discovered the Scream 4 trailer while watching TV last week (probably during Dancing with the Stars), she ordered me to go with her to see it as soon as it came out. She had no idea it was even being made (she's not in the loop), so when she saw it she acted like a kid walking by a Baskin Robbins. What I'm saying is, I didn't have a chance. Although, I did man up and make her wait until Monday.

I'm not a Scream hater, like a lot of people. I really like the original. I liked it enough to be one of the many horror fans that dished out the cash to see the sequel. What, was it like 7 bucks back then? I can't remember. Anyway, I remembered it being a pretty disappointing and uninspired follow-up. Part 3 ...even more so. That doesn't leave a guy with much to look forward to when a Part 4 comes out from a franchise that's been dead for over a decade.

Before donating more money to the Wes Craven retirement fund, I decided to watch the original trilogy again, You know, revisit Woodsboro and see if I felt the same way about the series as I did 10 years ago. I originally intended to review each movie, but I think I'll put that on hold until they're finished with the series. I assume that'll be Scream 6, but who am I kidding?

One thing about Wes Craven, the guy's tough to figure out. When you sit down to watch a Wes Craven movie, you have no idea what you're gonna get. The guy will release a complete piece of garbage and follow it up with an absolute classic. I mean, he made "A Nightmare on Elm Street" right after "Invitation To Hell" and the first "Scream" came out after the horror/comedy disaster that was "Vampire in Brooklyn". Scream 4 is no classic, but anybody who has seen "My Soul To Take" knows actually what I'm talking about.

Let's face it, there's not much more you can do with this series. It's a part of pop culture that's so played out that it's turned most of it's fans into former fans. That's where I got to give Craven and writer Kevin Williamson tons of credit for picking a great young cast and breathing some new life into a once dead franchise.

Like I said, at this point there's not much you could do as far as the story goes. That's why giving the fans a fun fast-paced popcorn flick was the way to go. I thought, unlike in Parts 2 & 3, the new batch of characters mixed in really well with the series regulars. It had the right amount of red herrings to keep you guessing, some pretty good cameos and the usual goofy humor that you expect from a Scream movie. They even threw in some extra gore this time around, which never hurts.

My Rating: 7.5 / 10





A fresher movie for a stale franchise. I guess the extended vacation from the Scream series did Craven and Williamson some good. If you're a fan of the series, or even just the original, it's worth checking out.

"click here to see the trailer"

River of Darkness (2010)

"Terror Flows Upstream"

Synopsis: When unspeakable evil falls on a quiet river town, Sheriff Will Logan (Kurt Angle) is thrust into a chilling nightmare of death and mayhem. He is confronted with a series of horrific murders, each more viscous than the last, and soon learns of the community’s seedy past and the evil that has risen from purgatory to exact revenge on the town. When Sheriff Logan discovers that the murders are committed by the spirits of old river squatters, the Jacobs Boys (Kevin Nash & Sid Vicious), the town explodes into an battlefield of blazing guns and zombies.

  Once The Jacobs Boys exact their punishing vengeance on the town it’s up to Sheriff Logan to unravel the shocking mystery of the past and slam the Boys back to hell.

My Thoughts: Q: What do you get when you take a bunch of washed up pro wrestlers and throw in b-movie legend Bill Hinzman (the lead zombie from Romero's Night of the Living Dead)? A: Hilarity

This movie is getting torn apart on just about every review site on the net. I can't believe that no one seems to see the so-bad-it's-good quality of this film. I gotta admit after the first 5 minutes or so I too thought to myself "WTF is this shit", but after listening to line after line of ridiculous dialog delivered by actors without an ounce of talent, it really won me over.

There's no doubt in my mind that this movie will someday take it's place beside films like Troll 2 in the best worst movie hall of fame. It's got it all, ridicious writing, bad directing, terrible acting, horrible zombie effects and no production value whatsoever. The only thing it's missing, which would make this the perfect bad movie, is some gratuitous nudity. I guess we can't have it all.



My Rating: 5.25 / 10




Get a group of friends together, pop this in and let the laughter begin.

"click here to see the trailer"

The Traveler (2004)

"Caught with nowhere to run!"

Synopsis: Deep in the woods of Pennsylvania, a terrible evil is about to be unleashed. An old, ramshackle house with a violent past. Abandoned. Forgotten. Seven people will come to this house. Two are here by accident. The rest are here for thrills. They will all come face to face with a force darker and more horrifying than their worst nightmares. A being of incredible power and unspeakable malice. A being known only as? The Traveler.

My Thoughts: Like every Brain Damage Films release, The Traveler had an extremely low budget. Imdb listed it at around $15,000, which is amazing when you consider the amount of gore in this film. Don't get me wrong, not everything in this slaughterfest looks entirely realistic, but for that amount of money it's a real achievement.

It was written and directed by Jonathan R. Skocik who also played the lead, Alan Chesterson. A lot to take on for a first timer. Hell, he even did the special effects. The Traveler was Skocik's first and last film. It's a real shame he never gave it another shot.

The movie does start a little slow, but once The Traveler makes his first appearance and starts his twisted version of Survivor the action picks up. All of the acting is horrendous, but in a ridiculously funny way. They had to just be friends of Skocik because there's no way in hell that they're real actors (well maybe the guy who played The Traveler was, even though he was pretty terrible too).

My Rating: 5 / 10








Recommended for gore fans. It's included in one of those Mill Creek 50-movie box sets called "Tomb of Terrors", which I picked up from eBay for $12. I've watched about 8 of them so far and this is the only one that stands out. Plus, they crammed 4 or 5 movies on each DVD, so the transfers aren't too great either. I would suggest picking up the Brain Damage release for a couple bucks instead, unless you're really into low budget horror.

"click here to see the trailer"

Be Kind, Rewind: The VHS Reviews ~ Sawbones (1995)

a.k.a. Prescription For Murder
"The hands of a surgeon... the soul of a madman"

Synopsis: Constantly put down by her medical student boyfriend, Brad (Nicholas Sadler, "Sometimes They Come Back") for being unfocused, hospital admissions secretary Jennie Sloan (Nina Siemaszko, "Lost Angels") decides to focus her energies on crimesolving after she discovers a mutilated corpse in an alley. The deceased woman is one of a string of victims slain by Willy Knapp (Don Harvey, "Creepshow 2"), a rejected med school candidate. Unable to match the brilliance of his late surgeon father, psychotic Willy makes barbaric surgery his hobby. Pressured to put an end to these brutal murders, police detective Burt Miller (Adam Baldwin, "Full Metal Jacket") prevails upon Jennie to provide hospital and med school information which he believes will help him identify the killer. 

My Thoughts: This Roger Corman produced slasher will always be considered a rip-off of 1992's Dr. Giggles, there's just no way around it. As a matter of fact, a couple changes in the script and this could have easily been the direct-to-video sequel of that film.

I'll be the first to admit that this film is far from perfect. As with all of Corman's movies, it was made on a limited budget. He hired on a fairly inexperienced director, Catherine Cyran (writer/producer of Slumber Party Massacre III) and while I wouldn't exactly say she did a bad job, she did give the movie that annoying Lifetime TV-movie feel. The acting wasn't the greatest either. Nina Siemaszko, although cute as hell, has never been mistaken for a good actress and Adam Baldwin mumbled most of his lines and seemed to be just going through the motions.

On the other hand, for a slasher flick that was made during the dark days of horror (late 80's-mid 90's) it had it's moments. Don Harvey is no Larry Drake (Dr. Giggles), but his portrayal of the delusional Willy Knapp is so insane it had make cracking up almost the entire movie. I was also really surprised with the amount of gore during the surgury/murder scenes, an element that was clearly missing from Dr. Giggles.

My Rating: 6.5 / 10








Sawbones is a lot of fun and worth a watch. Think of it as a lower budget Dr. Giggles that's way more deserving of an R-rating. You probably won't be seeing this one pop up on Netflix instant any time soon. Fortunately, unlike a lot of out-of-print movies, a used VHS copy of this will only run you a little over a buck (check for it on amazon.com). My advice, get the old beat-up VCR out of the garage and pick up a copy.

"click here to check out other reviews at Horrorphilia.com"

Manje (2007)

"Flesh is his feast and it's time to eat"

Synopsis: Nine friends decide to vacation in one of the most rural locations in the country in an attempt to end the mourning period of one of their beloved. Krista (Erica Franco) is dealing with the recent death of her father and relies on Marc (Chris Morgan, The Slaughterhouse Massacre) for comfort and protection. Unbeknownst to them a tenth member has joined the festivities, but with less joyous ideas in mind. When their friends start dying, Marc and Krista must unravel an old mystery to avoid becoming victims themselves.

My Thoughts: I picked this dvd up at one of the Hollywood Video going-out-of-business sales last summer for a quarter, so it would be almost impossible to feel cheated. Was it good? No, not really. It had it's moments though and never got too boring (which seems to plague a lot of these low budget horror movies).

The cover art completely misleads you into thinking that this is a zombie flick, even though it's really a slasher. The acting was hit and miss, the gore was totally cheesy and the killer well... his make-up was so fuckin' cheap that it looked like they used the stuff you would pick up at Wal-Mart for an 8 year old trick or treater.

The good points you ask, it had a couple. First of all, the story was actually pretty decent. It had a cool twist at the end. The guy that saved this movie from being a total disaster was Ray (David Moretti, Murder Dot Com) who plays a complete dick and had me rollin' throughout the movie. There would be no reason for these people to ever hang out with this piece of shit. His finest moment is when he has this chick (with one of the biggest racks ever in a horror flick) in bed with him and stops to try to sneak in a threesome. You gotta respect the guy for tryin'.

My Rating: 3.5 / 10








It's worth the 25 cents I paid for it. For a b-horror movie you could definitely do worse, but I probably wouldn't waste my time trying to find it.

"click here to see the trailer"

Halloween (1978)

"The Night He Came Home!"

Synopsis: The year is 1963, the night; Halloween. Police are called to 43 Lampkin Ln. only to discover that a 17 year Judith Myers had been stabbed to death, by her 6 year-old brother. After being institutionalized for 15 years, Myers breaks out just days before Halloween. No one knows nor would wish to find out what would happen on October 31st 1978, besides Myer's physciatrist Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasence). He knows Michael is coming back to Haddonfield, but by the time the town realizes it, it'll be to late for many people.

My Thoughts: John Carpenter is the greatest horror/sci-fi director of all-time. No offense to the Wes Craven fans out there, but I will never even argue that fact. All you would have to do for proof of that is check out his resume. Just wanted to throw that out there.

Slasher films are by far my favorite of the horror genre, so naturally this would be my favorite Carpenter flick (although "The Thing" and "The Fog" are damn close). As a slasher, this film is as good as it gets. It's got a great back-story, a perfect cast, Carpenter's incredible score and of course, the legendary Mr. Michael Myers.

As you probably know, this plays over & over on cable every Halloween. I've easily watched this movie over 50 times. You would think I'd be sick of it by now. I mean, I love "Friday the 13th", but I doubt I would love it as much if I'd seen it nearly that many times. What's the difference you ask? It's gotta be the music. Not only does it add to the suspense of the film, it also makes you feel like it's Halloween night. By now I know this movie almost line for line, so I can walk away from the t.v. and come back without missing a beat and when I do this movie makes for great background music. Kinda like putting on one of your favorite CD's when you're doing shit around the house. Now I ask you, what other horror flick can do that?

My Rating: 10 / 10






If you don't already own this one, you should be ashamed of yourself.

"click to see the trailer"