Necronos: Tower of Doom (2010)

"You Can Not Kill What Is Already Dead."

Synopsis: Necronos (Thomas Sender), one of the mightiest minions of the devil himself has come to earth to create an invincible army of the undead under leadership of barbaric demons, called Berzerkers. To achieve his goal Necronos needs numerous often very macabre and difficult to come by ingredients. So Satan sends him two assistants to achieve his goal - Goran (Timo Fuchs), a Blood Demon and footman loyal to Necronos as well as The Mighty Witch (Manoush) to locate the chosen one - a virgin witch.


My Thoughts: This has got to be one of the most difficult movies to review that I have ever come across. It's such a mixed bag, in every aspect of the film, that I don't know where to begin. You see what we have here is really a fantasy gore film, that at times seems like a slasher, and at other times almost feels like some of demented art film.While I do like the creativity that went into the storyline, the 2 hour run-time really took a lot of the flow out of it.


After getting through the first 10 painful minutes, in which the story was explained through a series of short clips of the past and extremely drawn out title card sequences, we finally get to the opening credits. Once that's over the film, now in present day, starts to pick up. The director (Marc Rohnstock) makes it pretty clear early on that he has no problems with nudity or extreme gore (which in my opinion is always a plus). Not all of the gore was great, but it had it's moments and believe me I've seen a lot worse.


If you could sit back and just take this movie for what it is, then you might be able to get something out of it. I for one can appreciate the obvious time and effort that went into making this film. This wasn't just thrown together in a week or two. So if you're into gore films and you're looking for something a little different then this medieval gore-fest from Germany might just be the movie for you.

My Rating: 5 / 10






Not at all a perfect film, but worth a watch. I can honestly say that I've never seen anything quite like it. In the often stale world of indie gore flicks, Lars and Marc Rohnstock definitely have their own thing going on and I'll be interested to see what they can come up with in the future. 


    Be sure to check them out at: infernal-films.com

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Be Kind, Rewind: The VHS Reviews ~ The Guardian (1990)

"Tonight, while the world is asleep... an ancient evil is about to awaken."

Synopsis: After stealing the baby that she had been hired to look after, for her Druid (tree worshiping) practices, Camilla (Jenny Seagrove) inquires about babysitting for Kate (Carey Lowell) and Phil's (Dwier Brown) son, Jake. She eliminates her competition for the position and quickly becomes part of the family. It appears they have found the perfect nanny for their son, until they begin to discover that Camilla might just have some special plans in store for baby Jake.


My Thoughts: The first thing that comes to mind after watching this movie is 'Why?'. Why would a guy, who directed one of the greatest horror movies of all-time ('The Exorcist'), even want to put his name on a movie like this? I guess we'll never know, but he wrote it ...so it's on him.


If you can get yourself past the dumb-ass plot, you're immediately hit with the boring-ass dialog. Then, if you stay awake long enough to make it all the way through, you're rewarded with some horrible special effects and an extremely predictable ending.


On the good side (if there was one), the acting was decent enough and at least we got to see some wolves fuck somebody up. Besides that, it's a total waste. I mean, come on ...Trees! We all know that Sam Raimi is the only one who can make a tree scary.


Friedkin made another return to horror with 2006's 'Bug', which makes it pretty obvious that the guy should give up on the genre.

My Rating: 3 / 10






Unless you happen to worship trees yourself, there's not a lot to like about this movie. The DVD is out of print and very expensive ($35 used on amazon.com), so I'd suggest skipping it or maybe catching it sometime on Showtime or Starz if you're really, really bored.

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Livestock (2009)

"Sit Back and Feed..."

Synopsis: A mysterious cult, known as 'The Pack', decide to promote one of their most loyal and hardest working members, Victor Corsi (Fiore Leo). Just as everything seems to be going Victor's way, his out of control underlings, who are growing tired of the monotony that goes along with following Victor's orders, make a foolish decision that can seriously effect his new position with 'The Pack'.

  Meanwhile, two friends, Annabel (Johanna Gorton) and Tina (Christina C. Crawford) are getting ready for a big night. Annabel is preparing for a date with a guy she met recently online, while Tina has a meeting that she hopes will lead to a great career opportunity.

  On this night, the lives of these three people will collide and the truth behind Victor's secret organization will be revealed.

My Thoughts: With his first feature film, Christopher Di Nunzio shows some promise. The indie filmmaker serves as the film's writer, director and producer. His story, though not original, has it's share of suspenseful moments. It throws a mafia twist on something we've seen before, Peter Medak's 'The Washingtonians' from the 'Masters of Horror' series comes to mind.

  I think the film's biggest downfall is the inexperience of the cast. Besides Fiore Leo, who stands out in the lead role, the majority of the actors didn't seem qualified enough to handle what was needed from them. This really becomes a problem during the dialog scenes between the female leads. If this were the average slasher flick it would've been fine, but this film tried to pull off a lot of dramatic scenes that just weren't very believable.

  The film does wrap up nicely and I did really enjoy how they decided to let the blood fly. The gore was well done for a lower budget film and got pretty extreme in the last few scenes.

My Rating: 3.5 / 10






  I do give the director credit for trying to make more than just another hack'em up slasher. I would say that fans of indie horror might wanna give it a look. I'll be on the lookout for more from Mr. Di Nunzio in the future to see if he can step up his game.

  You can pick up a copy on DVD at creepykidproductions.com.

LivestockTheFilm.com

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Night Visitor (1989)

"Demons. Hookers. Ritual killings. Billy has a very vivid imagination. But what is real and what isn't? Only Billy and his teacher know."












Synopsis: High school student Billy Colton (Derek Rydall, "Phantom of the Mall" & "Popcorn") is spying on his sexy neighbor (Shannon Tweed, 1982 Playmate of the Year) one night when he witnesses her being murdered by a man in a robe and a demonic mask. Billy recognizes the man as Mr. Willard (Allen Garfield, Beverly Hills Cop 2) his unpopular history teacher, but the police do not believe him because he has a history of pranks.

My Thoughts: What we have here is a total "Fright Night" rip-off from producer, turned first time director, Rupert Hitzig. Oh wait, they did replace the vampires with a pair of satan worshipping brothers (played by Allen Garfield and the always weird Michael J. Pollard). IMDB has this movie listed as a comedy/horror, but I don't think the comedy was intended. Don't get me wrong, this movie is funny. The problem is there aren't any real jokes. It's the horrendous acting that makes this movie fuckin' hilarious. If anybody ever questioned why the lead actor, Derek Rydall disappeared from the acting world, all they have to do is catch a glimpse of this long-lost gem.

The strange thing is I sorta got a kick out of this goofy shit. I don't know what did it for me. Was it the horrible acting? ...the clueless directing? ...the ridiculous storyline? ...the unbelievably bad fight scenes? ...the corny 80's pop music?

Wait, I know what it was. It was the ending. After our hero saves the day, he finally gets the girl. He drives up to her house where she's sitting on the front steps with her dog, she jumps into his arms and they kiss. They get into his car and ride off into the sunset (with big stupid grins out their faces), both waving to the dog who is left alone on the steps. The End. An ending that truly has to be seen to be appreciated.

My Rating: 5 / 10






Overall, it's pretty fun in a fucked up kinda way and it never gets too slow or boring. Get it from Netflix and watch it with friends ...drunk friends.

"click here to see the trailer"