The Gate (1987)

"...Pray It's Not Too Late!"

Synopsis: Glen (Stephen Dorff) and his best friend, Terry (Louis Tripp), find that a gate to hell has opened when a rotten tree is removed from the backyard of Glen's house. When his dog dies and a friend of Glen's sister, Alexandra (Christa Denton), buries the animal in the hole, demons from an ancient civilization are released, seeking two human sacrifices to dominate the world. Glen, Al and Terry, who are spending the weekend alone in the house, fight to save their lives and close the gate.

My Thoughts: They just don't make'em like they used to. That's the first thing that came to mind after revisiting 'The Gate' after so many years. It could be just the nostalgia or maybe it's the beer, but I still really enjoyed this movie.

Since this movie's a part of my childhood it's hard to be 100% objective when rating it, so take that into consideration. I admit you don't get a lot of scary moments in this one, but it's still a really fun PG-13 horror flick. It's sort of a cross between the Goonies and the Ghoulies.

The story is fairly original and the director did a great job developing the characters, while keeping up the pace of the film. The acting was decent enough, especially considering the age of the main cast. We did get a little 80's cheeziness, but that's a big part of it's charm.

I also kinda dug the 80's style special effects. One image from this movie that always stuck with me was the scene where the zombie falls face first and explodes into a dozen little demon dudes. I was waiting for it and it didn't disappoint me. It was still as awesome as I remembered. Good stuff.

My Rating: 7.5 / 10

Overall ...if you haven't seen it, go rent it. If you collect 80's horror movies (or any horror movies), then buy it.

* a side note: After making this film, the director, Tibor Takacs, was offered the job to direct 'A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master', but declined because he wasn't given enough time to prepare his effects. New Line went on to hire Renny Harlin in his place and then delayed shooting by several months anyway. The good news is Takacs chose 'I, Madman' for his next project ...and that movie kicks ass.

* another side note: Actor turned director Alex Winter (a.k.a. Bill S. Preston, Esq.) has been claiming for years that a 3-D remake is in the works, but nothing has come of it. There were even rumors that Stephen Dorff was gonna be back to reprise his role as (a much older) Glen.

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Be Kind, Rewind: The VHS Reviews ~ Berserker (1987)

a.k.a. Berserker: The Nordic Curse
"A Campfire Legend of Flesh-Eating Terror!"

Synopsis: According to an old Nordic legend, a Berserker was a bloodthirsty warrior who would feast on human flesh, forbidden a restful death and fated to be reincarnated in their blood kin. Six college students accidentally stumble across the Berserker legend while vacationing at a Rainbow Valley campground, an area settled by Norwegian immigrants. The camp is filled with rumors of a wild bear killing people in the area, including speculation about an old couple who recently got lost in the woods. Is it really a bear ...or is it something much worse?

My Thoughts: Wikipedia claims Berserkers are legendary Norwegian warriors who fought in a nearly uncontrollable trance-like fury. Most historians believe that they would work themselves into a rage before battle, but some think that they might have consumed drugged foods. The Berserkers were known for wearing coats made from the pelts of a bear during battle ...and in this movie, they also wore masks made from the bear's skull and used the teeth to rip open their victims.

Okay, so we have Berserkers, bears, vikings and bunch of annoying campers that are lost in the woods. Sounds like the makings of a great 80's slasher movie, right? Unfortunately, even a really badass premise can't make up for the awful execution of an inexperienced horror director (Jef Richard). The biggest problem I had was the film's pacing. It seemed like every scene would drag on about 10-15 seconds too long. I don't know if the goal was to reach 90 mins or what, but if they cleaned it up a little during editing and lost about 10 mins of useless footage it would really help.

The acting got really bad at times (even for a slasher flick) aside from horror movie vets, George 'Buck' Flower & John Goff who both brought their A-game. The gore was pretty cheesy and there weren't any memorable kills, just a bunch of bloody claw marks. We did get some boob shots, but nothing to write home about. Overall, it was watchable, I guess. It just didn't live up to it's potential. I still thinks it's a cool idea and could definitely use a remake ...a really low budget blood-soaked remake.

My Rating: 5 / 10







Released by Prism Entertainment in 1990. It's a surprising good transfer and unlike most of the 80's 'in the woods' slashers, the night scenes are really well lit. This one will run you about 20 bucks for a used copy on amazon. Is it worth it? Probably not, unless you sick f*#kers got some kind of perverted viking fetish or somethin'.

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Be Kind, Rewind: The VHS Reviews ~ Popcorn (1991)

"Buy A Bag, Go Home In A Box."

Synopsis: Maggie (Jill Schoelen, "The Stepfather", "Cutting Class") has been having nightmares of a guru-looking man with a sacrificial knife chasing a little girl named Sarah. She doesn't seem that disturbed by the recurring nightmares as she thinks that they are unconscious inspiration for a possible film idea. She is one of the members of a fledgling film program at UC Oceanview taught by Professor Davis (Tony Roberts, "Amityville 3-D") who is eager to make a splash with the department so they won’t keep getting shafted in terms of budget, space, and resources. Class obsessive film nerd Toby (Tom Villard, "Parasite", "One Crazy Summer") comes up with the idea to have a horror film marathon featuring the triple feature MOSQUITO (in 3D), THE STENCH (in Arom-O-Rama) and THE ELECTRIFIED MAN (in Shock-O-Rama) with all of the original 1950's gimmicks included. With the help of film memorabilia collector Dr. Mnesyne (Ray Walston, "My Favorite Martian"), the group renovate the abandoned and soon to be demolished Dreamland Theater for the show. While setting up the gimmicks (a giant mosquito to fly above the audience, electrified audience seats, odors to be piped through the vents), the group find a reel of film marked “Do Not Open.” They run the reel and it is revealed to be an experimental film called “Possessor” featuring the imagery from Maggie’s dream and she faints. When she comes to, Professor Davis tells her that the film was made by a man named Lanyard Yates who had a film cult in the 70's where they took drugs and made avant-garde films. When his film was laughed off the stage, Yates responded with a follow-up called "Possessor", the final scene of which was the onstage murder of his family and torching of the theatre with the patrons locked in. Of course, his body was never found. When Maggie mentions Yates to her mother (Dee Wallace-Stone, "E.T.", "Cujo"), she tries to convince Maggie to drop out of the show and take a trip with her, but Maggie says that she can’t escape from something that’s in her mind. Later that night, her mother receives a mysterious phone call from someone claiming to be Yates who tells her to meet him at the theater. She goes and gets nabbed in the dark after the requisite voices, backlit silhouettes, and appearance of Yates on the theater screen. The next night at the show, Maggie thinks she sees Yates while taking tickets. As she searches the theatre for him with the help of her skeptical jock boyfriend Mark (Derek Rydall, "Phantom of the Mall: Eric's Revenge", "Night Visitor") and an equally skeptical Toby, someone starts bumping off the professor and students and taking on their identities (it is revealed that the killer has a secret hideout where he can make moulds of peoples faces).

My Thoughts: Sure this is a completely by-the-book slasher movie, but when everything's done the right way that could make for a really fun horror flick. Let's talk about everything they did right. The lead actress (or 'final girl') ...they chose the amazing Jill Schoelen, one of my all-time favorite scream queens. She gets a 10/10, no doubt. The setting ...a horror flick in an old movie theatre, what's better than that? Exactly, so 10/10. The 3 made-up 1950's movies (or 'stinkers') that they had playing at the theatre were hilarious, again 10/10. The music also worked perfectly, especially the reggae song they used during the theatre renovation montage. Well, at least a 9/10. Of course, the movie does have a few flaws. It's pretty cheesy at times and a lot of the acting isn't the greatest, but like I mentioned before when it's done right somehow it works ...and besides, it's a horror movie.

Oh, I almost forgot. The title ...Popcorn. It's perfect too. You're not gonna find a better example of a 'popcorn movie' than this one. This film definitely brings back good memories of seeing it on the big screen. Remember, this was made at a time when the slasher film was considered a dead genre, so for a movie as fun as Popcorn to come out and get a wide release at theatres was pretty rare.

My Rating: 8.5 / 10












This movie was actually released on DVD by Elite Entertainment in 2001, but is out-of-print and comes with a hefty $108 price tag on amazon.com ($44 for a used copy). Fortunately, there may be some hope for you Popcorn fans out there. Video Nasty productions is in the process of filming a documentary with some of the original cast members (click on the photo above). The plan is to include their documentary on Popcorn’s re-released DVD. Besides the movie and documentary, this “ultimate fan edition” DVD will come with a cast commentary, a collector’s booklet and a poster. It was set to be released on March 23, 2012. I think they might be having some money problems, but hopefully it works out. Go to popcorndoc.com for more info.

…For now, if the $44 DVD is too steep, you can always watch it on Netflix instant or pick up a used VHS copy for 5 bucks. Hey, it’s better than nothin’.

"click here to see the trailer"

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Deranged (1974)

a.k.a. Deranged: Confessions of a Necrophile
"Pretty Sally Mae died a very unnatural death! ... But the worst hasn't happened to her yet!"

Synopsis: A man living in rural Wisconsin takes care of his bed-ridden mother, who is very domineering and teaches him that all women are evil. After she dies he misses her, so a year later he digs her up and takes her home. He learns about taxidermy and begins robbing graves to get materials to patch her up, and inevitably begins looking for fresher sources of materials. Based closely on the true story of Ed Gein.

My Thoughts: One great thing I find about horror (more so than in other genres) is when you throw on a movie, no matter what your expectations are about it going in, there's always a chance that you'll find a true hidden gem. That being said, I still can't believe that this movie has eluded me all these years. I blame the horror movie review sites for not giving this film it's just due. You bastards! I won't be making that mistake.

I gotta say, this movie would be nothing without the performance of Roberts Blossom, who played Ezra Cobb. I couldn't remember where I'd seen him from so i looked him up. He was the old man at the beginning of "Christine" that sold Arnie the car. Anyway, he's fuckin' weird and extremely creepy ...and oh, did I mention completely insane? Blossom's so believable in this role and I think it's a shame that more horror fans don't talk this one up.

You would think that this movie would get some notoriety because of it being Tom Savini's first job as a make-up artist. Savini and his crew did a great job (considering how long ago this was made), especially on the corpses. They really helped add to the eerie mood of the film. It's a great start to his legendary career.

My Rating: 8.5 / 10






This is a must-own, especially for fans of the original "Texas Chainsaw Massacre". You can pick up the Midnite Movies double feature DVD from MGM on amazon.com for under $7. A great deal considering that you'll also get "Motel Hell" on the flip-side.

"click here to see the trailer"

Bloody Birthday (1981)

"The nightmare begins with the kids next door"

Synopsis: In 1970, three children are born at the height of a total eclipse. Due to the sun and moon blocking Saturn, which controls emotions, they have become heartless killers ten years later, and are able to escape detection because of their youthful and innocent facades. A boy and his teenage sister become endangered when they stumble onto the bloody truth.

My Thoughts: It being my birthday on Thursday of course I had to watch my favorite 80's horror flick. For a lot of people, the over-rated "Happy Birthday to Me" would have come to mind. I think for that one the poster (which is cool as hell) has given it a reputation of being a cult classic, because I wouldn't even say the actual film has a real cult following. I think most people either haven't seen it or don't really remember how long and drawn out it is. It's not the worst 80's slasher, but it does get way too much credit.

Anyway, this is supposed to be about "Bloody Birthday", which is very under-rated. I admit the premise isn't very original (a bunch a kids are born at the same time during an eclipse and they turn out fucked up when they're older), but the story never gets too slow and the kills are really creative. Though what really carries this film is the mean-ass little kids, led by Billy Jayne (Just One of the Guys, Parker Lewis). They are just such dirty little pricks, but in a fun way.

As if just killing people wasn't enough, they also like to get under their skin and terrorize them mentally ...and if you thought that being only 10 years old would stop them from being fuckin' perverts, you'd be wrong. At one point, the little girl (Elizabeth Hoy, Hospital Massacre) uses a hole in her older sister's (Julie Brown, The Homecoming Queen's Got a Gun) closet for a peepshow charging her friends a quarter each, that is before shooting an arrow through her eye. [Tip: never look through a strange hole in your wall!]

My Rating: 8.25 / 10







I saw this at the drive-in when it came out 30 years ago. I was just about the same age as the kids back then, so I probably rooted them on. Nowadays all I keep thinking to myself throughout the movie is, "get those little fuckers". A sure sign of gettin' old, siding with the grown-ups.

Definitely recommended! Queue it up on Netflix for your next B'day ...and 80's horror fans, add it to your collection.

"click here to see the trailer"

A Blade in the Dark (1983)

a.k.a. La casa con la scala nel buio
"When the lights go out, the knife goes in."

Synopsis: A composer, working in isolation on a score for a horror movie meets two women who used to know his house's former tenant. When the women disappear, he's forced to look into the film he's working on to determine what happened to them, and who's responsible.

My Thoughts: A late-era giallo from Lamberto Bava (Demons, Demons 2), son of legendary Italian horror director Mario Bava (Black Sunday, Twitch of the Death Nerve). After you get past the fact that the lead actor is a dead ringer for Eric Foreman from "That 70's Show", you can actually sit back and enjoy this under-rated whodunnit?/slasher flick.

This would be a perfect pick for a movie night with friends. There's enough goofy characters and ridiculous dialog to keep the wise cracks flowing from beginning to end, especially on the English dubbed version. There's also plenty of cheesy mood music ...and even some much appreciated gore.

In the end, this turns out to be a pretty fun movie and would be a good place to start for someone who wants to get into watching giallo films.

My Rating: 6.5 / 10





Recommended. The dvd's going for under five bucks on amazon.com, I might just have to add it to the collection.

"click here to see the trailer"