Be Kind, Rewind: The VHS Reviews ~ Hider in the House (1989)

"You Can't Lock Him Out. He's Already In."

Synopsis: Gary Busey stars as Tom Sykes, a psychopath who after being released from a mental institution, which he's been at since killing his abusive parents as a child, decides to move in with Julie & Phil Dryer (Mimi Rogers & Michael McKean). The only problem is they don't know he's there. As a child Tom would escape his parents abuse by hiding in the most remote areas of the house and now he seems to be back to his old tricks. This time building a secret hiding space in the attic where he can once again feel safe. While spying on the Dryer's, Tom becomes obsessed with Julie. He decides if he's ever gonna be a real part of the family he's gotta get Phil out of the picture.

My Thoughts: I'll be the first one to admit this movie is cheezy. The story is just ridiculous. I mean a 200 lb. dude walking around in your attic every night and they never go to check it out. They just blame it on the wind and later send an exterminator up there (who's never seen again, btw). Also, it's got a little of that Lifetime movie feel to it. There really is no reason why I should be telling anybody to watch this movie ...but I'm going to.

Gary Busey has got to be the only actor on Earth that could pull this shit off. It's actually a little sad, but I think this might be the role that he was born to play. The rest of the acting was pretty decent as well. Mimi Rogers is always the same (not great, not bad) and it was nice to see Michael McKean in a non-comedic role for once.

This movie reminded me a lot of 'The Stepfather'. The tone of the film, the kind of violence that was shown and especially the way the killer carried the entire movie. Don't get me wrong, 'The Stepfather' was a much better film and Terry O'Quinn did a better job as the deranged psycho, but then again they didn't have to work with this piece of shit script.

My Rating: 6.5 / 10






Gary Busey haters stay away from this one, otherwise it's worth seeing if you get the chance. So far it's only been released on region 2 DVD, but an old VHS copy will run you no more than $5 on amazon. I found one on ebay for a buck.

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Be Kind, Rewind: The VHS Reviews ~ Fright Night Part 2 (1989)

"The Suckers Are Back."

Synopsis: It's been a few years since the events of the original movie. Charley Brewster (William Ragsdale, "Herman's Head", "Mannequin 2: On The Move") is now in college and has a new girlfriend. After the death of bloodsucker Jerry Dandridge, Charley has settled into life as a student and rejected his former belief in the existence of vampires. Although he's busy pursuing the affections of determined coed Alex (Traci Lind, "Class Of 1999", "My Boyfriend's Back"), Charley soon falls under the spell of the mysterious and alluring Regine (Julie Carmen, "In The Mouth Of Madness", "Blue City"). Even though everything about the woman screams vampire, her feminine charms -- and her claims of being nothing but an outlandish performance artist -- lead Charley to become her unwilling servant. Torn between Regine's enchantments and his loyalty to Alex, he once again looks for help from Peter Vincent (Roddy McDowall, "Planet Of The Apes", "The Poseidon Adventure"), the washed-up horror show host who assisted him in the first time around. Soon, Charley, Peter, and Alex are facing off against a new coven of bloodsuckers led by Regine, who reveals herself to be the ancient sister of Jerry Dandridge.

My Thoughts: I've always been a fan of the original Fright Night. Effectively mixing horror and comedy is pretty hard to do and where as Fright Night might not be laugh-out-loud funny, I think it's never take yourself too seriously attitude delivered by it's incredible cast made it work somehow. You would think the fact that great chemistry being the main reason for the first film's success that a sequel with just two of the original cast members and a new director would be a complete disaster. You'd be wrong.

Fright Night Part 2 director Tommy Lee Wallace ("Halloween III", "Stephen King's It") replaces the first film's great chemistry with an eerier atmosphere and some great camera-work, and still manages to keep alive some of the spirit and fun of the original. William Ragsdale and Roddy McDowall don't miss a beat bringing back their characters for a second go-around and the new cast of vampires add the comic relief that would have been missing after of the death of Charley Brewster's friend "Evil" at the end of the first film.

You might not have heard, but a Fright Night remake is scheduled to come out this summer. I would normally say sarcastically "oh great, another remake", but I think this one has some potential. First of all, I like their choices for the main cast: Colin Farrell as Jerry Dandrige (the vampire), David Tennant ("Dr. Who") as Peter Vincent, Anton Yelchin ("Charlie Bartlett", "Star Trek") as Charley Brewster ...and McLovin as "Evil" Ed Thompson. Also, I think it's the type of safe horror movie that the studios want to put out these days, so in this rare case it might actually work. You think???

My Rating: 8 / 10






Maybe the remake (coming out August 19th) will spark up enough interest to get this forgotten sequel re-released. I hope so, because as much as I like it I won't be paying $50 for a used copy any time soon. I've got my old VHS copy ...and those are even going for $15 on amazon.com nowadays.

"click here to see the trailer"

"click here to see the remake trailer"

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Be Kind, Rewind: The VHS Reviews ~ Night Life (1989)

a.k.a. Grave Misdemeanours and Zombie Academy
“There’s good reason to be afraid of the dark"

Synopsis: This is the story of Archie Melville (Scott Grimes, "Critters 1 & 2"), a down on his luck teenager that’s just trying to catch a break. Forced to work as an assistant mortician for his miserable Uncle Verlin (John Astin, "The Addams Family") as part of a deal he made in order to go to college. Charly (Cheryl Pollak, "My Best Friend Is a Vampire"), his only friend, tells him out of the blue that she’s been offered a job and is leaving town. The girl that he wants to get with (Lisa Fuller, “The Monster Squad”) is dating his arch-enemy (Kenneth Ian Davis, “The New Kids”), who leads a group of preppie snobs that are constantly tormenting him. Just when you think things couldn’t get any worse for the poor bastard, the shit really hits the fan.

After his tormentors are suddenly killed in a car accident , Archie’s given the gruesome task of preparing the bodies for burial. Later that night, the mortuary is struck by a bolt of lightning that (you guessed it) turns the corpses into bloodthirsty zombies hungry for revenge.

My Thoughts: Although you don’t actually see any zombies until the second half of the film, I still kinda liked this one. It starts out like your typical 80’s teen movie (except for the fact that some of it takes place in a mortuary). Canadian director David Acomba does a great job of developing the characters and keeping a pretty fast pace, so you never get too bored while you’re waiting for the fun to begin. He even flexes his directing muscles a little by throwing in some creepy dream-like sequences and gives the movie a bit of a darker tone, something that you don’t see too often in a horror comedy.

The acting wasn’t great, but what you’d expect. One exception was John Astin, who was perfectly cast as Archie’s heartless Uncle Verlin. Scott Grimes is who he is (never too bad, but never any good) and the rest of the mostly unknown actors were hit and miss. The zombie make-up was a little cheesy, but most of the gore was surprisingly well done and they came up with a few creative kills.

So overall, I’d have to say what this movie lacked in originally, it made up for in execution. I would probably describe it as a cross between the John Hughes movie “Some Kind of Wonderful” and “Return of The Living Dead”. I thought most of the humor worked and it’s got some pretty nice gore, especially for it’s time. One of the best things about the horror genre is that most horror fans don’t ask for films to be perfect, just for them to be fun …and seeing a couple zombies having sex, that’s fun stuff!

My Rating: 7.5 / 10








Definitely worth checking out if you can get your hands on a copy. There’s no DVD to speak of, but you can always pick it up on VHS. Used copies are selling for a little over $20 on amazon, so I’d suggest searching around on eBay for a possible bargain.

"click here to see the trailer"

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Blades (1989)

"Just when you thought it was safe to putt!"

Synopsis: People are showing up sliced and diced at Tall Grass Country Club. Norman, the owner of the club, wants to avoid undue publicity on the eve of the televised pro-am tournament, and encourages new pro Roy to get to the bottom of the killings quietly. Roy has a history of alcohol problems since he choked while playing a big tournament years before, and Kelly, who feels she should have been hired as the new pro, isn't making the situation easier for him, insisting they cancel the tournament until the killer can be stopped. After a seedy character named Deke Slater is arrested, the owner relaxes, but Roy and Kelly begin to feel that Deke's rantings about a runaway lawnmower aren't so far-fetched after all, and after Deke is released the three of them prepare for a battle to the death out on the uncharted fairways.

My Thoughts: Let me get this straight. Someone had an idea to make a "Jaws" rip-off and to replace the shark with a killer lawnmower at a golf course and he actually talked somebody else into giving him money to make it. That's good enough for me.

This wasn't really what I expected going in. The actors played it straight, no matter how ridiculous the situations got. I thought that was a strange way to go. The choice for the two lead actors was also a little off. They must have looked for the most boring people they could find. Their acting wasn't overly bad for this type of movie, just fuckin' blah.

The lawnmower scenes were kinda funny, especially when it had the balloons with the smiley faces hanging off of it (obviously, it doesn't take much to amuse me). It could have used a little more gore, but in the late 80's that's just how it was. The biggest problem I had was with the 1:40 running time, someone needed to edit this bitch. It would have helped this movie ...a little.

My Rating: 3.5 / 10






It's a movie about a killer lawnmower at a golf course. What can I say? Click on the link below to watch a 9 min. version and save yourself an hour & a half.

"click here to watch the highlights"

Night Visitor (1989)

"Demons. Hookers. Ritual killings. Billy has a very vivid imagination. But what is real and what isn't? Only Billy and his teacher know."












Synopsis: High school student Billy Colton (Derek Rydall, "Phantom of the Mall" & "Popcorn") is spying on his sexy neighbor (Shannon Tweed, 1982 Playmate of the Year) one night when he witnesses her being murdered by a man in a robe and a demonic mask. Billy recognizes the man as Mr. Willard (Allen Garfield, Beverly Hills Cop 2) his unpopular history teacher, but the police do not believe him because he has a history of pranks.

My Thoughts: What we have here is a total "Fright Night" rip-off from producer, turned first time director, Rupert Hitzig. Oh wait, they did replace the vampires with a pair of satan worshipping brothers (played by Allen Garfield and the always weird Michael J. Pollard). IMDB has this movie listed as a comedy/horror, but I don't think the comedy was intended. Don't get me wrong, this movie is funny. The problem is there aren't any real jokes. It's the horrendous acting that makes this movie fuckin' hilarious. If anybody ever questioned why the lead actor, Derek Rydall disappeared from the acting world, all they have to do is catch a glimpse of this long-lost gem.

The strange thing is I sorta got a kick out of this goofy shit. I don't know what did it for me. Was it the horrible acting? ...the clueless directing? ...the ridiculous storyline? ...the unbelievably bad fight scenes? ...the corny 80's pop music?

Wait, I know what it was. It was the ending. After our hero saves the day, he finally gets the girl. He drives up to her house where she's sitting on the front steps with her dog, she jumps into his arms and they kiss. They get into his car and ride off into the sunset (with big stupid grins out their faces), both waving to the dog who is left alone on the steps. The End. An ending that truly has to be seen to be appreciated.

My Rating: 5 / 10






Overall, it's pretty fun in a fucked up kinda way and it never gets too slow or boring. Get it from Netflix and watch it with friends ...drunk friends.

"click here to see the trailer"