Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Psych:9 (2010)

"Fear is all in the mind...?"

Synopsis: A young woman (Sara Foster, the 'new' 90210) with a troubled past takes a job at a recently closed down hospital. Working the night shift alone she begins to experience a series of unsettling events that lead her to believe that the hospital may be connected to a number of recent murders in the area. To uncover the truth she will have to revisit the past behind the walls of Psych:9.

My Thoughts: It's not often that I watch a film that has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Roslyn (Sara Foster), the main character's job in the movie was to go through and somehow organize all of the files for a hospital that's been there for like a 100 years and I'd still rather help her do that than watch this shit again.

The story itself had some potential, although I wouldn't exactly call it original. The rookie director (Andrew Shortell) gave this film no sense of atmosphere. The cinematography was awful. There was only one cheesy jump scare thrown in to keep the audience awake.

The acting was piss-poor. Michael Biehn (Terminator, Aliens) wasn't very good as the one-dimensional detective, but compared to Cary Elwes (Saw 1 & 7, Dracula) he was frickin' Daniel Day-Lewis. I mean, I've never been a Cary Elwes fan by any means, but his performance here with his stupid fuckin' fake accent. I think I hate him.

In addition to the quality of the acting, there wasn't one likable character in the bunch. I mean they're all douche bags. By the time you were 45 minutes in, you just didn't give a shit about any of them.

As for the two things that could have possibly saved this heap, gore & skin. The gore was minimal and during the sex scene the bra never came off. I know she had a shitload of scars from getting burned as a kid, but they weren't on the goodies ...so what the fuck!

My Rating: 1.5 / 10

When it takes companies like Lionsgate 3 or 4 years to release a movie on dvd there's usually a reason for it. If it's a foreign film sometimes it just takes longer to reach the U.S. and there's a possibility of it being somewhat decent, but if it's an American film (and even though this one was filmed in Prague, it's still an American film) it's usually because it sucks. Avoid It.

"click here to see the trailer"

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